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Freedom Friday – On Listening to Gossip

January 16, 2016 by Patti 27 Comments

I believe the single most important thing I can do to keep myself in the “right” place with God is daily Bible reading and journaling.  I say daily because that’s my goal, though to be completely honest there are times that I skip this practice for a day, two days, even a week at a time.  It is in the skipping that I realize it’s importance as everything goes awry without the daily infusion of God’s Word into my life and my reflection upon it.  God speaks to me through His Word.

Words

Welcome to FREEDOM FRIDAY – A devotional, emotional, spiritual and sometimes hysterical series that I will be sharing on occasional Fridays, in addition to my regular Old Things New posts. Why?  Because though once bound in chains Christ has set me free –  FREE to live, to love, to dance, to sing, to be who God created me to be!

Proverbs 17 was on my reading schedule this past week.  Before reading I always usually ask God to highlight any particular verse that He wants to speak through that day.  This day it was Proverbs 17:4.  Here is how it reads in The Voice Bible.

Wrongdoers perk up when listening to gossip. Click To Tweet

I’d never heard this verse worded quite this way before so I checked out a few other versions.  Most simply say that wrongdoers “listen” to gossip (I love how switching up the version of the Bible I read from time to time brings fresh new perspective).

Myrtle Beach Sky 1

I don’t think of myself as a gossip – anymore – though it used to be that I could add my input with the best of them!  I’m NOT Perfect Patti but God has graced me with enough growth that I can usually keep my mouth shut when I shouldn’t speak – at least when it comes to gossip!  When it comes to saying silly things, NOT so easy!

After reading this verse I decided to write down a few questions to ask myself:

  • Do my ears “perk up” at gossip?
  • Do I become more attentive or do I move away from the conversation?
  • Does it depend on who the conversation is about?
  • What if it is about someone who has hurt me or someone I love?
  • What if it is about someone who always seems to come out on top?
  • What if it is about someone who isn’t on the “same side” as I’m on?
  • Do I ever have a sense of vindication or self-satisfaction when I hear an evil word about another person?
  • Is any of this okay, as long as I don’t say a word of gossip out loud myself?

Tybee Island Beach 2

 

I believe that to be a listener to gossip can be just as bad as being the gossiper.

  • By listening without speaking we can appear to be in agreement.  
  • By listening we may believe information about another person that is untrue.  
  • By listening, our view of another person can be tainted.
  • Finally – if our ears perk up at gossip there may be something inside ourselves that we need to deal with – unforgiveness, judgement, ill will, hatred, insecurity, etc.

Having said all this, let me tell you that sometimes I get hurt and feel like verbally bashing the one who hurt me.  I have people who say unkind things about me and to me (when you put yourself out there on a blog that’s going to happen).

 Tybee Island Beach

When I’m hurt I try to talk to God before running to find someone to share with.  Sometimes we need human “one-anothers” also, as the Bible tells us to encourage one another and stir up one another to brotherly love.  I have my husband and a couple of trusted friends that have heard my woes from time-to-time and have helped me to see things through God’s eyes.  Even so, it is important that I be careful and test my sharing in prayer.  God is faithful to show me if I am gossiping (talking with the intent of bringing harm to another) or sharing to receive feedback and insight into a situation. 

Haha! That makes me think of something funny I heard from a woman with regard to talking about her husband, “I'm not gossiping, I'm just reporting! Click To Tweet”

Maybe some of you can relate the words I’ve written and need to spend some time asking God if you’ve been an active participant in gossip even if you’ve been a silent participant.

Tybee Island Grasses

Prayer:  Search me oh Lord, and show me if there is any wicked way in me.  Cleanse me from anything within me that would cause me to “perk up” at a word of gossip. Give me strength to stand strong against the temptation to sin, even in the listening, and give me words of grace to walk away from situations that compromise my relationship with You and with others.  Amen.

Note:  The Voice Bible is an actual translation, not a paraphrase, but it is unique in that it was written by esteemed Bible scholars in collaboration with pastors, writers, musicians, poets, and other artists.  The goal of this translation was to help bring to believers joy and wonder at God’s revelation.  If you are interested in trying a different version for your daily Bible reading I’ve added the link below.

The Voice Bible, Step Into the Story of Scripture

 

Tybee Island Sunset

In my next Freedom Friday post I’ll be sharing a frightening vision that a dear and godly friend had, regarding those things we hang onto and how they cloud our relationship with God.  It was important to her life personally and I sense that it is an important message for all of us to hear. 

Until then, blessings to you dear readers,

My Signature

Photographs taken in Tybee Island, GA

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Filed Under: Freedom, Freedom Friday, Freedom Session, God's Grace, Prayer Tagged With: Freedom Friday, Freedom Session, God's grace, Prayer

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Comments

  1. Peggy says

    January 16, 2016 at 12:21 pm

    I love being able to come here and let you touch my heart. So refreshing, Patty.

    Reply
  2. Shelly says

    January 17, 2016 at 1:47 am

    This was a great write up. Really makes me triple think. This is such a huge concern for me, especially as I step up into the Women’s Minsitry Position. Thank you for sharing this!! I really look forward to next weeks post as well!!
    (Sometimes I am missing the notifications! I had to come onto the computer and found this one didn’t show up on my phone. Ugghhh!! ) I want to read all your blog posts! I love and miss you, Patti!

    Reply
  3. Sharon H says

    January 17, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    Many toes might be stepped on with this message….as well they should be. It is very easy to cross over that line of caring about someone and sharing that concern with another….and suddenly finding yourself gossiping more than caring.
    I’m sorry if someone has deliberately been mean or hurtful to you through your blog. But there are people in this world so ugly on the inside that they want others to feel ugly, too. Just like many gossipers need to tear others down, so that they may feel built up.
    It’s important, like you said, to have a trusted one or two people you can share/confide in and seek comfort from another human. No matter how deeply connected we are with the Lord, and able to go to Him, we are still human and need that human touch and communication. It’s always good to have someone who can pray with us, and more importantly, for us….when we hurt to the point that we can’t find the words ourselves. I’m glad you have that relationship with Mr OTN, and a friend as well. Sometimes we need someone other than, or maybe in addition to, our mate to cry to.
    Patti, just know that for every person who tears you down, or tries to…..there are a hundred who want to build you up! You are loved, dear one. You are loved. Phil 1:3

    Reply
  4. Michele Morin says

    January 18, 2016 at 8:31 am

    OH, this is such a wise collection of thoughts. We need this reminder to guard our words and our hearts in order to preserve godly community!

    Reply
  5. Sarah Koontz says

    January 18, 2016 at 9:27 am

    I have heard this truth before, and it is a difficult one to swallow…isn’t it? Gossip does make you feel a certain way, whether you are listening or speaking. It makes you feel powerful and connected to the people you are gossiping with. It’s an ugly thing and an ugly feeling, but somehow addictive. All the attributes of sinfulness! Thanks for the reminder that listening to gossip is just as bad as speaking it. Visiting from Monday’s Musings.

    Reply
  6. Debbie Kitterman says

    January 18, 2016 at 11:31 am

    Patti – such good truth in your words! It love the voice translation on this – and it is a good question to ask ourselves. I think we can easily say – no I’m not gossiping or sharing gossip – but do we perk” up at the sound or thought of it. Hmm something to do some heart searching about! Oh, and I love, love, love your pictures of Tybee, it makes me want to go back. You have a fantastic eye for photography! I am so glad you are my friend in real life and in the virtual/blogging world too! you are such an inspiration to me.

    Reply
  7. Judy Turnbull says

    January 18, 2016 at 12:32 pm

    I really admired a coworker of mine who never divulged information, never added to the gossip train and chose not to answer when others asked her questions that seemed geared toward gossip. I admired her so much for this, as I would struggle from time to time at the invitation to gossip. I mentioned my observations to her and she said that she had been badly hurt by other’s gossip of her in the past and she refused to do that to another. She became an example for me!

    Thanks for writing your post. It’s a good reminder about something none of us like to admit to doing.

    Reply
  8. Pam Blosser says

    January 18, 2016 at 12:52 pm

    I loved this perspective on gossip. You’ve listed some great questions here that challenge me as I don’t feel like I’m a gossip but I’m not as strong when it comes to listening. Loved also how you mention that we trick ourselves … “I’m not gossiping, I’m reporting.” My equivalent is, “I’m not complaining, just commenting.” I’m a work in progress. Joining you from What Joy is Mine!

    Reply
  9. Ann says

    January 18, 2016 at 2:45 pm

    Gossip is such a difficult subject to cover, especially among believers, as many do not see it as sin or that we have potential to fall into this sin. Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue has the power of life or death…” I do believe this applies to the problem of gossip. I don’t think we realize how often it can break down others to a point of causing irreversible damage in people’s lives. Thanks for sharing and reminding us all that we need to be wise, seeking God first about how we talk to and/or about others.

    Reply
  10. Roxy says

    January 18, 2016 at 9:41 pm

    Hello Patti, What an excellent study this was! Really gossip is so sly it can creep in without you even being aware you should of kept your mouth closed!
    Blessings, Roxy

    Reply
  11. Lil at Embracing the Lovely says

    January 19, 2016 at 9:25 am

    These are all great questions to ask ourselves! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  12. Ellen Chauvin says

    January 19, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    Patti, you ask some thought provoking questions here! Am I listening to the gossip? Or walking away? Lovely post with lovely pictures!

    Reply
  13. Long Ladies says

    January 19, 2016 at 3:15 pm

    Thank you for being open and honest about this. Even though I am fairly young, only 20, I find myself struggling with the area of listening to gossip as well as gossiping myself. It’s hard to find the balance between sharing, and harming others when you need to confide in someone.
    Reading your post really helped me see more clearly. Thank you so much!
    ~Haley

    Reply
  14. Gayl Wright says

    January 19, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    Patti, such a good post. Those are good questions to think on to be sure we are not participating in gossip either actively or passively. Thanks for sharing! Blessings to you!

    Reply
  15. JES says

    January 20, 2016 at 5:08 am

    This is excellent Patti! You laid it all out there! Thank you for sharing this encouragement on the Art of Home-Making Mondays at Strangers & Pilgrims on Earth!

    Reply
  16. Kendra says

    January 20, 2016 at 9:39 pm

    Patti, This was so good, it made me think a lot about some recent conversations I’ve been a part of and your list of questions made me look back and honestly ask myself how I’m doing in the area of gossip. Thank you for the encouragement (and the nudge) to guard not only what I say, but also what I allow myself to listen to.

    Reply
  17. LisaAppelo@TrueandFaithful.net says

    January 21, 2016 at 6:16 pm

    Patti, gossip just hurts, doesn’t it? It took me a few years to really learn to just walk away, or change the subject or bite my tongue. Oh Lord, that we would love each other enough to honor each other always. Thank you for the good reminder. #livefreeThursday

    Reply
  18. Nannette says

    January 23, 2016 at 8:43 am

    Ouch, ouch and ouch! Praying the Lord will put a watchman at the door of my mouth today. I was your neighbor at Barbie’s!

    Reply
    • Patti says

      January 23, 2016 at 12:24 pm

      I get the “ouch” part too! Thanks Nanette 🙂

      Reply
  19. Elizabeth says

    January 23, 2016 at 10:57 pm

    To not even listen to gossip, wasn’t something I’d thought much about, until now!

    Reply
  20. Betty says

    January 24, 2016 at 1:44 am

    Thank you for sharing at the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop

    Reply
  21. Holly Barrett says

    January 24, 2016 at 7:55 am

    I love The Voice version…it always hits in just the right place! Great words and reminder for all of us, Patti!

    Reply
  22. JES says

    January 25, 2016 at 5:31 am

    Good morning! Just a little note to let you know we FEATURED this post today on the Art of Home-Making Mondays at Strangers & Pilgrims on Earth! 🙂

    Reply
  23. MM says

    January 25, 2016 at 11:42 am

    Found you here through Strangers & Pilgrims… what a great sharing of a difficult subject. How to know when something is gossip, or when it is truth and needs to be told. One thing I have learned as a child is to remember these 3 things when in a situation that is hard to know what to do… ask yourself: Is it true, is it kind, is it necessary? If you can answer yes to all three questions, then it should not be gossip. I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes things slip out of my mouth before I can ask myself those three questions. Thank you for the fresh reminder to put a watch before my mouth!!! Enjoyed “meeting” you today 🙂

    Reply
  24. Lyli @3dlessons4life.com says

    February 3, 2016 at 2:25 pm

    Lord, help me to be perky only about things that please You.

    Convicting post, Patty. Thanks xo

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Old Things New – Serving Two Masters says:
    January 29, 2016 at 3:23 pm

    […] my last Freedom Friday post I talked about Gossip, and how even Listening to Gossip is contrary to God’s teaching.  Simply put, it is sin.   What other sins do we justify […]

    Reply
  2. Old Things New – Top 10 Posts of 2016 says:
    January 16, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    […] Freedom Friday on: Listening to Gossip (why a listener to gossip can be just as guilty as the speaker of […]

    Reply

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OldThingsNew

I am Perfectly Imperfect Patti, daughter of the King, wife to the amazing Mr. OTN, mom to two grown daughters, a great son-in-law, and companion to two spoiled dogs. At Old Things New I share DIY’s, budget friendly home transformations, as well as posts about how God transforms our souls. I myself have been made new and I love to share what I’ve learned through WRITING and SPEAKING. To view a short Vimeo of “Our Story” (Mr. OTN and I) please follow the link at the top of the page.

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