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Abortion Story

If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

“Are you pregnant?”, she asked.

“I think so,” I answered fearfully.

Tapestry of Life

It was 1973 and I was 17. I saw our family doctor first, a visit filled with dread and shame. I went alone.

On the day of the abortion I was accompanied by my mother and my boyfriend. We went to a city far away.

“We won’t tell your father and I don’t want you to tell anyone else either.” We were a good church family with a fine reputation.

Tapestry of Life

I was awake throughout the abortion. I could hear the noise of the suction and feel a deep pressure inside my core, a pressure both physical and emotional.

In the middle of the night, at home in my bed, I began cramping. Deep, painful cramps with bleeding. I called out to my mom in fear.

“Those are labor pains,” she answered tersely. “Even though “it” is gone you still have to go through the pain.

Yes, I still had to go through the pain. That night and for years to come.

Tapestry of Life

I asked God to forgive me many times but the pain continued. Over the course of many years I had bouts of undiagnosed depression. How could it be diagnosed when I kept my secret to myself? I was frantically living my life to look like a good Christian, trying desperately to live up to the name that my family gave me when I was very young, “Perfect Patti.”

When the lows came I would sometimes sink so low that I would want to die. I cried out to God to take my life. During this time I failed at so many things. I married the boy who fathered my child, because I heard at youth group that having sexual relations meant you are married in God’s eyes. I wanted to be obedient. That failed after only a few months. I married again, a church man who was much older. It was a poor decision from the outset but I truly believed that no one would want me and I was lucky to be asked. Another failure. I married my current husband, “the doctor”, believing that he would be my savior.

Tapestry of Life

After the initial “high” of marrying the man of my dreams, the pain returned and the draw of death pulled me closer as each low became lower than the last . . . until . . .

“You have a spirit of death hanging over you,” said the prayer counselor at the retreat we were attending.

A light came on as I realized what was causing my obsession with death.

“Abortion,” I spoke the word out loud.

Tapestry of Life

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16

My first confession, a prayer prayed over me, and the experience of a great weight being lifted.

This was followed by the same confession to my home group and more lifting.

Tapestry of Life

Sometime later, after much healing in my husband’s and my lives, our Pastor released us into ministry within the church, and I told my story in front of a larger group of people. I’ve done this many times now and though there still may be tears in the telling there is no guilt or shame because I know that I am clothed in robes of righteousness through Jesus Christ my Savior. I am forgiven and I have been set free.

Each time I share my story I’m surprised at how many Christian women come to me and share their own abortion stories. It isn’t something one freely talks about in church settings and I’m sad that so many are living under a cloak of guilt, unable to lives their lives to the fullest.

The enemy of our souls loves for us to keep our secrets hidden inside. Confess to God and receive forgiveness. Confess to another trustworthy person who will pray through the pain with you and experience healing.

About me:

Queen Bee French Flea 2013 059

I am Perfectly Imperfect Patti, daughter of the King, wife to the amazing Mr. OTN, mom to two loving daughters, companion to three dogs. I blog at OldThingsNew where I share home and soul transformations. God has redeemed the wasted years of our lives and my husband and I are both grateful that God has allowed us to share our stories to help others along in their healing journeys. We’ve recently moved from Washington State, where we directed a program called Freedom Session, to South Carolina, where we are currently working one-on-one with others and waiting for the “next step” in ministry.

We are all a work in progress and the story isn’t finished yet.

Tapestry of Life

Blessings,

My Signature

My story was first shared by Deb Wolfe at Counting my Blessings

Comments

  1. Sonia says

    October 30, 2016 at 3:48 am

    Thank you so much for your telling your story, your a blessing.

    Reply
  2. Sue says

    January 28, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    God bless you xoxo.

    <3

    Sue

    Reply
  3. Regina says

    January 29, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Beautiful, thanks

    Reply
  4. Cheryl says

    July 17, 2017 at 11:16 pm

    My IPad screen jumped from your cute t shirt bracelet to this page. Destiny! I needed to read your story tonight. Blessings to you.

    Reply
    • Patti says

      July 18, 2017 at 5:59 pm

      It sounds like your iPad screen has a mind of it’s own. That’s quite a jump! I’m glad this was the story you needed to hear in just the time you needed to hear it. God is good that way. Thank you for writing and blessings to you Cheryl.

      Reply
  5. Karen Demers says

    September 11, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    What a beautiful person you are to share your pain to help so many others. Thank you for reminding me of God’s infinite love for us all.

    Reply
    • Patti says

      September 12, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      You are very kind Karen. Thank you and God bless 🙂

      Reply
  6. Sue Julian says

    January 9, 2018 at 6:40 pm

    I’m so thrilled to have “stumbled” across your blog. Love it.
    God bless you Sue from Christchurch, New Zealand

    Reply
  7. Kathleen says

    February 1, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    Bless you for telling your story. God forgives all. I’m glad now you’ve been able to forgive yourself, and I’m sure He in His mercy is only and ever Love. No matter what 🙂

    Reply
  8. E. says

    June 11, 2018 at 6:38 pm

    Thank you for helping me heal with your story. I still feel a huge hole but get thru and appreciate your honesty

    Reply
  9. 1010parkplace says

    June 18, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    I, too, had an abortion when I was that age. I was alone and not a Christian at the time, but later married the father because of my guilt. Like you, my marriage didn’t last long either. Here’s my story if you’re interested. XOXOX, Brendahttps://www.1010parkplace.com/?s=murder

    Reply
  10. Deborah Andrews says

    August 8, 2018 at 3:42 pm

    thank you for sharing your testimony….what a Blessing you are to the kingdom of Christ!

    Reply
  11. Doris S Swift says

    October 2, 2018 at 11:26 am

    Patti, this is so beautiful and thank you for sharing. I experienced a teenage pregnancy, and although I did not have an abortion, I was drawn to serve and minister at our local pregnancy center. I went on to train in abortion recovery to help women see how they can be forgiven and set free. After speaking engagements, I, like you, have had numerous women share similar stories. Praise the Lord for your writing ministry and may He continue to abundantly bless you with opportunities to share your story.

    Reply
    • Patti says

      October 2, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Thank you for writing in response to my story Doris. I love that you were called to serve in an abortion recovery ministry. I went through a Bible study at a local abortion recovery group and it was powerful. I received another level of healing that I wasn’t expecting, especially at the end when we had a memorial service for our lost children.
      I appreciate and welcome your blessings over all that God calls me to in the future and pray that God will abundantly bless your ministry too.
      Hugs,
      Patti

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Confess Your Sins to Each Other – Old Things New says:
    October 20, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    […] Abortion Story […]

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  2. Her Name Was Abortion – Old Things New says:
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    […] Abortion Story […]

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OldThingsNew

I am Perfectly Imperfect Patti, daughter of the King, wife to the amazing Mr. OTN, mom to two grown daughters, a great son-in-law, and companion to two spoiled dogs. At Old Things New I share DIY’s, budget friendly home transformations, as well as posts about how God transforms our souls. I myself have been made new and I love to share what I’ve learned through WRITING and SPEAKING. To view a short Vimeo of “Our Story” (Mr. OTN and I) please follow the link at the top of the page.

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