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Finding the Happy in the Grief

January 7, 2017 by Patti 56 Comments

We lost another dog this week.  Cozy.  She was sweet, spunky, loving, needy, beautiful, anxious, and more than anything she was MY dog, who followed so closely on my heels that I often tripped over her laid-out-flat body.  As much as I loved and grieved her mama Snoopygirl, the grief I feel over Cozy is different.  More intense.  I told Mr. OTN that I think it is because of their personality differences.

Snoopygirl was a strong and independent Beagle.  She was smart and intuitive.  She sensed our moods and was always there to offer comfort. 

Cozy, on the other hand, was not so intuitive, anxious and needy from the start.  When you would reach over the dog gate to pet her she would wrap her paws around your arm and hang on for dear life.  When any of the family members would lie down she took that as a clue to climb right up on your chest where she would knead like a cat with her front paws while at the same time pressing her head into your face (sometimes a bit too hard) seeking to be as close as she could be! 

We gave Cozy the head kisses she longed for and hubby and I always equated her persistence with our own need to be persistent in pressing in for more of God.  She taught us lessons, that one.

When Cozy starting going downhill she declined quickly.  Her always wagging tail hung limp, she stopped eating as vigorously as a normal Beagle does, she lost weight, and even lost the energy to follow me from room-to-room.  Finally she stopped eating and drinking altogether and preferred to stay put on her bed in the kitchen.  We knew it was time.  On her last day we took turns holding her like a baby as she pressed her head into our shoulders receiving comfort.

I believe that the difference in the intensity of our grief is this:  Snoopygirl gave comfort, Cozy received comfort, proving the point that it is indeed more blessed to give than to receive.

We fight against pain, trying to suppress it, getting busy to forget about it.

But why do we tend to think happy is the only way?  Do we not know that happiness can be felt more intensely when we’ve experienced grief?

Some positive things about grief:

  • I consider myself blessed to have loved a dog like our little Cozy.  If we hadn’t had sixteen good years with her there would be no sadness to feel, but we also wouldn’t have happy memories to cherish.
  • I’m thankful for the things Cozy’s neediness taught me.   As Ann Voskamp says in her book, The Broken Way, “The only way to abundant life is the broken way of risk.”  We take a risk when we give our hearts away but abundance comes in giving ourselves in love.
  • Times of great sadness can also be times of great closeness to God, if we’ll seek Him.  Scripture tells us in Psalms 34:17-18 that God hears the cries of the brokenhearted and He moves in close to share in the pain.
  • I know that God can use every sad life experience for a higher purpose.  We gain understanding through experience and II Cor. 1:3-4 says that we can comfort others with the same comfort we’ve received from God.  Not only can God use our hurts as a means for us to pour into the lives of others, but when we pour out, He fills us up again so we can give some more. 

Now I know that there are other, more painful things in life than the loss of a pet (especially for those of you who may not be pet people).  Mr. OTN and I have experienced and are even now experiencing some of those “other” things, but we have come to accept that we can’t expect for life to always be happy. 

When we feel the need to pursue happiness at all costs that can lead to all sorts of other addictive behaviors . . . but that’s a post for a different time.

Know this.  It is brave and even healing to allow yourself to fully feel grief and brokenness.  Sharing that brokenness with others makes you more authentic and real.  I’d much rather be with real broken people than fake happy people.  How about you?

If you are experiencing brokenness of any kind in your life, I pray that God will speak to your heart today.  Our hope is in God alone.  He alone is perfectly faithful in love toward us .

“Don’t cry because it’s over, SMILE because it happened.”

New Year’s blessings to you my friends,

I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!

Sunday:

TheDIYShowoff, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive, SilverPenniesSundays, SundaysAtHome, RusticAndRefined, Spiritual Sundays, GiveMeGrace

Monday:

IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired,  InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, CelebrateYourStoryMaking Your Home Sing Mondays, The Beauty in His Grip What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking,SmallWonder, LifeGivingLinkup, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends

Tuesday:

TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CozyLittleHouse, CedarHillFarmhouse, KatheWithAnE,TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles,  Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story, IntentionalTuesday

Wednesday:

SavvySouthernStyle, TheBlissfulBee, Posed Perfection, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, ChristianBloggerLinkup, Whole Hearted Home, Mom’s Morning Coffee, Women with Intention, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday

Thursday:

ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner, PrettyPreppyParty,  The Deliberate Mom/Shine Blog Hop, I Choose Joy,  Live Free Thursday, Thought Provoking Thursday, PartyAtMyPlace, 100HappyDays, SincerelyPaulas, ThankfulThursdays

Friday:

FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, RootedInThyme,  TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Sweet Inspiration,  Faith’nFriends, Missional Women Faith Filled Fridays, Dance With Jesus

Saturday:

FunkyJunkInteriors, OneMoreTimeEvents,  SaturdaySparks, TheInspirationGallery, Make My Saturday Sweet

 

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Filed Under: Christianity, Death and Loss, Dog Love, Friendship, God's Grace Tagged With: Christianity, Death and Loss, Dog Love, Dogs, Friendship, God's grace, Grief

Freedom Friday – Wise Words From a Dog Named Snoopygirl

April 30, 2015 by Patti 33 Comments

It was one of the most difficult times of my life.  Some of you know the story.  Others may have seen a snippet of it on the Vimeo on my ABOUT page. Suffice it to say that Mr. OTN and I have come through some dark times and we are so grateful to Father God to be where we are today.

 Welcome to FREEDOM FRIDAY – A devotional, emotional, spiritual and sometimes hysterical series that I will be sharing on occasional Fridays, in addition to my regular Old Things New posts. Why?  Because though once bound in chains Christ has set me free –  FREE to live, to love, to dance, to sing, to be who God created me to be!

Fifteen years ago . . . It was a struggle to get through my days at work with a smile and an upbeat attitude. Then it was home to cook dinner for my girls while trying to put a positive spin on the situation we found ourselves in the midst of.  All the while, the ache inside was deep and I longed for was an end to each day so I could get into my bed, pull the covers over my head, and sob into my pillow with all of the pent up emotion I held inside.

It was during that three month period that a different sort of relationship began between began our young beagle Snoopygirl and myself.

YoungSnoopy

A young Snoopy, looking more like a pointer than the daughter of field trial champion beagles.

 Snoopygirl was the most sensitive dog I’ve ever known.  She seemed to discern human emotions of pain and responded with compassion. When I cried she looked concerned . . . and when I cried like my heart was breaking she crawled in as close to me as she could, burrowing beneath the covers to press herself into my heart.  It was like she was crawling inside my pain to share in it, in an attempt to bring healing to my hurt.

What a gift from God this little dog was to me during that time.

Eventually life moved on, as it always does.  My husband returned home after three months away and we began to work toward healing in our lives, separately and together.  There were many ups and downs.  Sometimes we didn’t know if we would make it.  But we held on to our hope in God to perform a miracle . . . and He was faithful.  Eventually Snoopygirl had pups of her own and was required elsewhere.  She was ever aware of the emotions swirling through our household though and vigilant to come close when needed.

Several years later, our Soopygirl was diagnosed with cancer.  The doctor performed surgery to remove the tumor but said it would come back.  Not wanting her pup Cozyanna (a very needy girl indeed) to be alone, we adopted Sasha, a gangly boxer/lab mix to add to the pack.  That was eight years ago.  The cancer never came back but Snoopy moved into a different position in the family, a bit overshadowed by the younger two, but never less loved.

Snoopygirl, having a special day at the beach without the other dogs!

This last year was the roughest for our Snoopygirl.  Her hearing failed and her eyesight became dim.  Now an old lady of 17 her legs became too weak to climb the stairs to the bedroom at night.  Eventually she didn’t want to be with us in the bedroom at all, but preferred to be alone, on her bed in the kitchen. 

Snoopygirl lost her young beagle good looks.  Her fur became thick and fluffy from the medication she was taking, she had tumors on her body that would grow, recede and grow again.  Her eyes were weepy and her nose drippy.  She lost muscle mass and became so thin that it hurt to look at her.  Her legs became so weak that we had to carry her outside to do her duty and sometimes she would growl at us when we lifted her, because of the pain.

Snoopygirl 021

Snoopy feeling loved.

Last week we spent our last morning with Snoopygirl and it was very sweet.  Hubby spent some time sitting on the kitchen floor with her in his lap while she snuggled in.  Something she really hadn’t wanted to do for a long, long while.  We made the trip to the vet’s office where they had a room ready and told us to take as much time as we needed with our girl.  As Kelly held her, wrapped in a blanket, I put my face next to hers and touched her muzzle with my lips.  She breathed in the warmth of my breath on her face and gave my nose a tiny touch with her own doggie nose.  I wanted so much to press myself close to her heart like she’d done with me so many times and let her know that it was okay.  She couldn’t hear us as we spoke our last words to her but she could feel us close and  she looked at us with peace in her cloudy eyes.

Goodnight sweet doggie.

17-My backyard 009

Snoopygirl last Fall, exploring the yard at our new South Carolina home.

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Snoopygirl’s Words of Wisdom:  “What do your people need when they are sad?  Not a lot of words or promises or frantic activity.  No . . . the very best thing is to press in close . . . right up next to their sad ol’ hearts . . . and share their pain.”

Blessings,

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I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!
Sunday:
 UnderTheTableAndDreaming, TheDIYShowoff, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive,
 NiftyThriftyThings,
SilverPenniesSundays, SundaySoiree, SundaysAtHome
Monday:
 IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor,  ModVintageLife,  TheDedicatedHouse, UncommonDesigns, WestFurnitureRevival, BoogieboardCottage, HuckleberryLove, CarrieThisHome, Dwellings, AnExtraordinaryDay,
InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, RedheadCanDecorate
Tuesday:
HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, Elizabeth&Co, CoastalCharm, CozyLittleHouse,  NaptimeCreations, CedarHillFarmhouse, KatheWithAnE,NotJustAHousewife, 
VMG206, TuesdaysAtOurHome,
TwirlAndTakeABow, TheWinthropChronicles, 7Alive,  Maison de Pax, VintageInspirationParty
Wednesday:
SavvySouthernStyle, IvyAndElephants,  DIYByDesign, TheStyleSisters, AdornedFromAbove,
SomedayCrafts, GreenWillowPond, Fishtail Cottage,  TheCityFarmhouse,
BeyondThePicketFence, TheBlissfulBee, Posed Perfection, Inspiration2
Thursday:
NoMinimalistHere, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, AllThingsWithPurpose, MyRepurposedLife, FromMyFrontPorchToYours, ADelightsomeLife, AKAWeekendRetreat,
KatherinesCorner, PrettyPreppyParty
Friday:
FrenchCountryCottage, MissMustardSeed, ThirtyHandmadeDays, CommonGround, TheShabbyNest, LizMarie, Redoux, JenniferRizzo, TheCharmOfHome, RootedInThyme,  TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday,
 DIYVintageChic,
ShabbyliciousFriday
Saturday:
FunkyJunkInteriors, SixSistersStuff, It’sOverflowing, BeDifferentActNormal,
OneMoreTimeEvents,  SayG’DaySaturday,  SaturdaySparks,
TheInspirationGallery

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What Joy Is Mine

Project Inspire{d}

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Holly Barrett

purposefulfaith.com

Joy Dare Blog

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Barbie SwihartEquipping Godly WomenDance With Jesus

countingmyblessingsAmanda’s Books and MoreSandra Heska King - Still SaturdayFaith Along the WayRenewed Daily - Recommendation Saturday

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Filed Under: Dog Love, Freedom Friday, Friendship, God's Grace, Inspiration Tagged With: Dog Love, Dogs, Freedom Friday, Friendship, God's grace, Inspiration

A Happy New Year Gone to the Dogs!

January 1, 2014 by Patti 6 Comments

Doesn’t Sasha look sweet?  All dressed up and waiting for the party . . .

Sorry girl, no party here tonight, we’re off the the movies!

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – It was a great “feel good” movie.  What a wonderful evening Mr. OTN and I had together.

Then we came home . . . to THIS!

photo

Oh no! What happened here while we were away? Who got into the Christmas presents that we haven’t given out yet?

photo-2A comatose dog sleeping on the forbidden couch?  I think we’ve found our culprit.

Coyzyyyyy!!!

Snoopy 008Well, at least this one is where she is supposed to be.  Good dog Snoopy!

Happy New Year from our home (and our dogs) to yours,

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Filed Under: New Year's Celebration Tagged With: 2014, Dogs, Happy New Year, New Year's Celebration

OldThingsNew

I am Perfectly Imperfect Patti, daughter of the King, wife to the amazing Mr. OTN, mom to two grown daughters, a great son-in-law, and companion to two spoiled dogs. At Old Things New I share DIY’s, budget friendly home transformations, as well as posts about how God transforms our souls. I myself have been made new and I love to share what I’ve learned through WRITING and SPEAKING. To view a short Vimeo of “Our Story” (Mr. OTN and I) please follow the link at the top of the page.

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