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Day 29 – The Day the Church Asked for my Forgiveness

October 29, 2018 by Patti 7 Comments

The Write 31 Days Challenge – 31 Days,Every Day,One Topic

Day 29

(day 1 starts here)

Being transformed from glory-to-glory can mean coming full circle back into places where we receive new levels of healing. Click To Tweet

Two years ago this month, my husband Kelly and I took a trip back to Washington State. At the time It had been nearly twenty-five years since I was Unfriended by the Church.  In that post you may recall that I tried and failed to find another place of fellowship, but with one bad experience after another, I opted out of church completely for ten years.  

I’d longed for someone to hear my side of the story, but the one or two church people I tried to share with chose to keep their distance, as the church told them to do.  After all who was I, a notorious sinner, to be believed?

When we finally did return to church, we were loved into a place of healing and eventually entrusted to lead a ministry. That was a huge step for me and there were times when I shuddered to think of what would happen if I was on the stage sharing my story and someone shouted out from the audience,

“I know who you are!”

It was a realistic concern, considering that those were the exact words spoken to me when I was recognized at one of the churches we visited.

But I eventually came to a place where it didn’t really matter who might be out there listening because my whole story had already come into the light and I was covered in God’s grace.  When we confess our sins to one another, exposing them to the light, the devil's power to shame us is shattered into a million pieces. Click To Tweet

So, by now you must be wondering at my title!  The Day the Church Asked for my Forgiveness Click To Tweet

On that trip back to Seattle, Kelly and I were sitting in a restaurant with two other couples, both Pastors of churches, when somehow the grand subject of the time I was disfellowshipped came up in the conversation.  Haha! I can’t tell you how a subject like that might have come to be, but I remember that as I spoke Pastor Nathan, who was sitting a couple of seats down from me, leaned in, eyes locked on mine, and  asked, “Has the church ever asked for your forgiveness?”

I may have given a slight laugh of disbelief before replying, “Oh no!  They would never ask for forgiveness from me!”

Everyone around the table was listening now, as people tend to do when Nathan speaks.

“Tell me, WHO is the church?,” he questioned.

A light began to dawn in my head and shine right down into the farthest reaches of my heart.

“We are.  We are the church,” I answered.

Nodding, Nathan asked my permission to speak on behalf of the church who hurt me.

“Of course.”

With compassion in his eyes he began, “Patti, on behalf of the church I want to say that I am sorry for the ways in which we wronged you.  I’m sorry for the pain we caused you and the pain we’ve caused your children. We. Were. Wrong.”

Simple words yes, but words that caused some long neglected places of my heart to push tears to my eyes and wash away the final remnants of hurt.  In this asking of forgiveness on behalf of the church I believe that chains were broken in spiritual places that not only benefit me but will also touch my wounded daughters, not to mention the very church that wronged me.  I sincerely pray that this is so.

I’ve shared this story on the blog before but I’m sharing again today because I know that there are those of you who have been wounded by the church and who use that as a reason to stay away from fellowship.  I don’t judge you for that. You’ve suffered hurt, fear, maybe even shame. You may also experience feelings of rejection or, as was once the case with me, the feeling that you will never be good enough.

I promise you this:  If you are staying away from church fellowship we miss you and we need you. Click To Tweet

We may be a messed up and imperfect people yet we ARE the church and if you are a Christ follower, so are you.

Maybe you’ve been waiting for an apology from those who wounded you.  Then I, as a part of those who make up “the church,” want to say to you right now that I am deeply sorry for the things we did to hurt you. God calls us to restore those who have fallen with love.  Maybe you haven’t yet felt that from us. Again, I’m sorry.

I sincerely hope and pray that when you can, you will find it in your heart to forgive us.  There are many of us here who have been broken just like you and we will be here waiting, arms wide open, to welcome you back.

With utmost love and affection,

The Church

Tomorrow, Day 30 will be An After Word From Mr. OTN so you aren’t going to want to miss it!

The beginning of this series can be found on Day 1, My Life is Not a Hallmark Movie.

I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!

Sunday:

SundaysAtHome, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive, SilverPenniesSundays, RusticAndRefined, Spiritual Sundays

Monday:

IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired,  InspireMeMonday, CelebrateYourStory, What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends, InspireMeMonday, GodSizedDreams

 

Tuesday:

TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CedarHillFarmhouse, TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles,  Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story

Wednesday:

SavvySouthernStyle, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday,  WriterWednesday

Thursday:

ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner,  Thought Provoking Thursday, SincerelyPaulas, ThoughtfulThursday, Tune-inThursday

Friday:

FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Faith’nFriends,  Dance With Jesus FreshMarketFriday

Saturday:

FunkyJunkInteriors, SaturdaySparks, TheInspirationGallery, Make My Saturday Sweet

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Filed Under: Addiction, Christianity, Faith, Freedom, God's Grace Tagged With: Addiction, Christianity, Faith, Freedom, God's grace, Marriage, My Story, Recovery, Redemption, Relationships

« Day 28 – The Next New Thing
Day 30 – An After Word From Mr. OTN »

Comments

  1. Jen Lawrence says

    October 30, 2018 at 2:20 pm

    This is beautiful. Thank you for writing this. XO

    Reply
    • Patti says

      November 3, 2018 at 6:59 am

      Thank you so much Jen. God is GOOD!

      Reply
  2. Sandra says

    November 1, 2018 at 11:11 am

    This is so good to see your healing through the hurtful but human journey. I’m not quite here and have never been offered this healing offer from humans that make up the church. I don’t know I’ve ever expected it. It’s a sweet place. I can imagine it was very healing to hear. Right now my journey is quite lonely for different reasons, but reading your blog is encouraging and offers hope. I’m not rushing God and not pushing him away, but church has been a bit of a struggle. I’m not hurt or angry at the church. Just a little disillusioned and distant. Political stuff has had some to do with this, but it will work out.

    Reply
    • Patti says

      November 3, 2018 at 7:33 am

      Thank you for writing this Sandra. I’m sad that your journey is still painful and lonely. God is always with us though and the miracle that happens is always on the inside of us, no matter what others do or don’t do. On behalf of the church I am sorry for all the hurtful things we’ve done to you and wish more than anything for God’s peace to fill your heart and for His love overwhelm you and bring you JOY. The joy of the Lord is our greatest strength! Know that I have you in my prayers. Love & hugs <3

      Reply
  3. Donna Reidland says

    November 5, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    The church (as you said “us”) is definitely imperfect. Yet, amazingly Jesus love us as His bride. But His love doesn’t stop there. He also loves us as individuals and promises to redeem the ways we sin against one another. Thanks for sharing your story here. I know God will use it for good.

    Reply
  4. ordinarilyextraordinarymom says

    November 13, 2018 at 10:46 pm

    I love this. It is so easy to get consumed in all of the drama and mistakes of the humans in the church. An apology goes a LONG way to speed up the healing process.

    Reply

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  1. The Next New Thing – Old Things New says:
    October 29, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    […] is Day 29, The Day the Church Asked for my Forgiveness. Talk about a full circle day! The day after tomorrow I have a surprise in store for […]

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OldThingsNew

I am Perfectly Imperfect Patti, daughter of the King, wife to the amazing Mr. OTN, mom to two grown daughters, a great son-in-law, and companion to two spoiled dogs. At Old Things New I share DIY’s, budget friendly home transformations, as well as posts about how God transforms our souls. I myself have been made new and I love to share what I’ve learned through WRITING and SPEAKING. To view a short Vimeo of “Our Story” (Mr. OTN and I) please follow the link at the top of the page.

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