How do I begin after reading so many welcoming comments on I’m Baaaaack . . .?
Here we are in our beautiful new lake home. A dream come true.
One would think life has been glorious right? And in fact, in spite of people’s warnings, the building process was quite wonderful and fun and exciting. It was also what saved me, on so many days, from falling into complete despair.
You see, while building there was a multitude of other “stuff” happening in our world. Sickness, death, breakups, broken hearts, and other bizarre events. You all know it. Life hits all of us hard at times. Click To Tweet
Those following on Facebook might have seen some of this, especially a few months ago when I was thousands of miles from home and my husband called to say he was driving himself to the hospital. MUCH prayer followed from all over the country and what was his near death became his healing. Some may doubt the idea of a miraculous healing but we are certain that the prayers of friends are what spared his life.
Other events were never shared. They were too private. Some weren’t even shared with my closest friends because they were so painful. Yes, I do know better than to isolate but, well, there you have it, another one of my favorite character defects.
“Why Lord,” I cried, “have we had to endure so much these past couple of years?” My once brave heart failed me and I was broken over the sufferings of those I love.
Feeble prayers fell limp at my feet.
Self-condemnation set in. “Look at you Mrs. Old Things New, writer of hope and freedom. What do you have to offer? You can’t even save yourself!” And for the first time in many years I set my Bible aside, along with my journal, and retreated inside myself. Just me and Pinterest and the planning of our new home. There I lost myself.
I felt unable to pull myself out of these feelings of depression. Depression. That unacceptable-for-church-folk D word! Click To TweetThough it wouldn’t likely be classified as clinical depression I discerned what it was. Spiritual depression. A dry place. A lonely wilderness.
When I finally confessed to my husband how bad things had become for me he was taken by surprise. Why? His very demanding job, work on the house every moment he was off, and then weeks lost to sickness. That’s all 😉 He recommitted to praying daily over me.
That same morning we heard a message at our new church entitled Spiritual Deserts and Hope began to stir.
I knew what I needed to do, what I’d needed to do all along. I dug out my Bible and journal from the moving box marked “IMPORTANT PAPERWORK” (true confession) and recommitted myself to reading, journaling, and praying daily. And as each day passed I found my passion for the things of God returning. I was able to let the pain I was carrying go, knowing and believing that God will take care of those I love the most in all the world because He loves them more.
This post has gone long (in spite of my editing and chopping 200 or so words) so I’ll leave you with a song that speaks exactly to where I’ve been. Perhaps it will speak to you too.
These last several weeks of pressing in to God’s word and journaling my prayers have turned my life back around. My JOY is back and I’m looking forward to a new call and the new season before me.
“When I thought I’d lost me, He knew where I left me, He reintroduced me to His love.”
He always does. He always will. Again and again and again . . .
I love and appreciate y’all so much.
(the perfectly imperfect)
I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!
IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired, InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, CelebrateYourStory, What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends, InspireMeMonday, GodSizedDreams
TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CedarHillFarmhouse, TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles, Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story
ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner, Thought Provoking Thursday, SincerelyPaulas, ThoughtfulThursday, Tune-inThursday
FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Sweet Inspiration, Faith’nFriends, Missional Women Faith Filled Fridays, Dance With Jesus FreshMarketFriday