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My Mother-in-Law was not Just a Sweet Old Lady

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We lost my mother-in-law last week.  She was 98-years-old so people expect that she was probably in poor health, but in reality the end came quickly.  Only three weeks before she entered the hospital she took the bus to a doctor’s appointment all alone.  She had offers of help but – no thank you.  She was a woman who, when she made up her mind to do something, was going to do it!

 If you’ve ever heard me talk about my MIL over the years it was to say that she was the best MIL a girl could have.  She never competed, never judged, never demanded anything for herself.  She was thankful that I was married to her son.

Queen for a day and yet, my MIL never tried to be the center of attention.

This is the family’s own Queen Elizabeth, or Betty, at our annual fourth of July party three years ago.  You might look at this picture and assume she was a sweet old lady but my mother-in-law?  She was so much more.

Betty was a stay-at-home mom with her five boys (yes FIVE),  completed an English degree once they were raised, and then began her second career.  A career that lasted well into her seventies.  She didn’t tell anyone at the junior high where she worked how old she was because, well, it was really none of their business now was it?

My MIL was well read.  She loved reading a variety of things, everything from history to recipe books. My husband says that when the other kids in the neighborhood were eating mac ‘n cheese their family was taste testing exotic food items didn’t grace most people’s tables in the 1950s and 60s.

My MIL was very smart.  She was known for taking the opposite side of an argument just for the sake of debate, whether or not she believed in the argument she was making.

My MIL was concerned about equality for all people and she never said an unkind word about anyone.  She wouldn’t hear one either.

A 4th of July celebration at our old house, three years ago. All but one of the boys was able to be there.

My MIL’s family was her everything.  She loved her five boys, their wives, her grandchildren-including those who were grands by marriage. She treated all equally and always wanted to know the latest news about them.

My MIL was tough.  She had all of the typical old age aches and pains but she never complained. She asked instead, after the welfare of others.


My MIL was independent.  She refused to be bothered with suggestions that they move into assisted living. They continued to live in their senior community without help at 97 and 98 years of age.   Yes, my FIL Jack was the younger man 😉

My MIL had a strong faith from childhood.  She knew where she would be on the day she would leave this earth.

Painted by Betty Schindler in 1939. She was 17-years-old.

My MIL had intuition.  During her last days at home, before she was taken to the hospital, she told my FIL not to go too far or be gone too long when he ventured out from their apartment. She sensed that “something might happen” while he was gone.

My MIL was patient.  She slipped into an unresponsive state in the final few days at the hospital but people kept talking to her and telling her that there were family members still on their way to see her.  She held on until all that could make it had arrived.

My MIL was private.  I talked to my niece-in-law on the phone the last day and told her that sometimes people need permission to let go.  Stacey agreed and said that she would probably pass when the voices around her became quiet.  She did.  When all the family left for dinner that evening, she quietly passed with her husband of 76 years by her side.  This was as it was meant to be.

Sweet.  What does that mean?  My MIL was kind, caring, pleasant, smart, and engaging.  But her strength of character made her far more than just a “sweet old lady.”

I’m sad I’ll never see her again but I’m pretty sure she’s had a nice reunion with my mom, and she’s met my dad by now too.  I know that in the flash of a moment (because that’s what life is) I will see them all again.  Until then, I’m thankful for the role she played in my life.  She will be missed.

Thank  you for listening to my heart today.

Blessings,

I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!

Sunday:

SundaysAtHome, TheDIYShowoff, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive, SilverPenniesSundays, RusticAndRefined, Spiritual Sundays

Monday:

IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired,  InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, CelebrateYourStory, What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends

Tuesday:

TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CedarHillFarmhouse, TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles,  Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story

Wednesday:

SavvySouthernStyle, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday,  WriterWednesday

Thursday:

ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner,  Thought Provoking Thursday, SincerelyPaulas, ThoughtfulThursday, Tune-inThursday

Friday:

FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Sweet Inspiration,  Faith’nFriends, Missional Women Faith Filled Fridays, Dance With Jesus FreshMarketFriday

Saturday:

FunkyJunkInteriors, OneMoreTimeEvents,  SaturdaySparks, TheInspirationGallery, Make My Saturday Sweet

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Comments

    • She really was a wonderful woman Susan. I hit the jackpot in more ways than one (Mr. OTN) when I married into this family. I’m happy you got to catch a glimpse of her here. Love you sweet friend.

      Reply

    • Thank you Susan. I wish you could’ve had the opportunity to meet her. I hit the jackpot when I married into this family 🙂

      Reply

  3. What a beautiful post about a special woman. I think having 5 boys did something to help make her the mom she was. God doesn’t give that job to wimps.
    Thanks for sharing about your mother in law and I hope to meet her some day. 🙂

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    • You are so right about my MIL not being a wimp PJ. Notice that God only gave me girls! It is a rough job but she raised five great boys. Thanks friend.

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    • Thank you so much Tammy. You and Kelly have both had this experience of losing a mom this past year so blessings right back at ya’. Love and hugs <3

      Reply

  6. You were remarkably blessed to be a daughter to this wonderful lady! May you be blessed with comfort. Joy and precious memories.

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  7. Kind words. Thanks for sharing about your MIL and her life – how blessed you all were to have her.

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  9. So sorry for loss….glad you had a good relationship with her. It means a lot to have a caring MIL… I lost mine some time ago,and I really missed our little phone calls at certain times of the day. Will pray for you and your husband.

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  10. Patti, You’ve touched my heart, once again. I have a sweet MIL too, and as her memory begins to slip away, I’m reminded of all the strengths she’s shown me all these years. I have always said if I can be half the Mother-in-law that she has to the spouses of my children it would be enough. Sorry for your and Kelly’s loss, but thank you for sharing your heart.
    Kelly

    Reply

  11. Wow. That was was beautiful, Patti. Makes me wanna be like her when I grow up. What a legacy she has left for you all. What a blessing to have been part of her family! Thank you for sharing your heart today…it’s a lovely one.
    Muah

    Reply

  12. I love every word of this, and as a mum of a mere four boys, I’d love to have met her and compared notes and gotten what I’m sure would have been great advice. So sorry for your loss, but ecstatic over her gain. And yours, too — my MIL was a gem too, and that’s not a small thing to be thankful for! Ma has been in heaven for over 15 years now, and I still miss her.

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    • Thank you dear Michele. I can’t even imagine the patience it took to raise five boys. God knew I couldn’t handle even one boy so he blessed me with daughters. I do have a wonderful son-in-law though. Blessings to you sweet friend.

      Reply

  14. Your mother-in-law sounds like such a wonderful person! We should all strive to follow her example.

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  15. Thank you Patti I am thankful you truly cared about her. Sometimes women don’t always get a long but, it is so much easier when they can. Sounds like you made some wonderful memories to remember, certain times when you are feeling blue to ponder on. God blesses us in so many ways, shows how much he loves us.

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  16. Patti, what a beautiful post about your MIL. She was a beautiful lady and I know she will be greatly missed. But to have the assurance that you will see her again makes the loss bearable! Hugs and prayers for your family!

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  17. Patti, she and my Gram (my father’s mom) could have been bffs!
    I’ll tell ya all about it, soon!
    They had TONS in common.
    Hugs for your and Mr. OTN hearts and I can’t wait to meet her someday, too!

    Reply

  20. What a beautiful tribute to your mother in law. She sounds like she was a wonderful person and played an important role in her families life (as it should be). Hugs & prayers go out to you & the family. ❤❤❤

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  21. Hi Patti,
    Sorry to hear about your lovely mother-in-laws passing…………she lived a really long and amazing life.
    It is so refreshing to hear a daughter-in-law so esteem her MIL…….loved reading this….it was encouraging
    and uplifting…….she is the type of MIL that I aspire to be…….
    Isn’t it wonderful to know that even tho we miss them here…..it is only temporary and that we will have
    all of eternity to spend with them, and if the relationship here were not that good, they will be perfect in
    heaven, as everything is perfect there……….

    Have a lovely week,
    Blessings,
    Nellie

    Reply

    • Thank you Nellie. I’m sure you will be just that type of MIL to your children’s spouses. It will be a great reunion in Heaven to be sure. Blessings back to you.

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  22. Patti—it was so nice to read about your MIL!! What a wonderful woman with oomph!!
    Reading about her reminds me of my mother (the 70+ model on my blog) in some ways—was she German?? We laugh that my mother is a stubborn German–in a good way, of course!!
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    Reply

    • Oh yes Jodie, she was German AND Irish! Quite a combination of stubborn genes 🙂 I’m Irish on my dad’s side so I can relate. Haha!

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  24. What a beautiful… beautiful “Life” story… What precious and amazing memories !!! Thank you so much for sharing her story so vividly and the pictures are wonderful !!! Inspiring!!

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  26. What a wonderful tribute, Patti. It sounds like she was an amazing woman.
    My mother-in-law is visiting us this weekend. She, too, is wonderful–generous, accepting, kind, hard-working, and wise. Your loss is a great reminder to me to treasure each day I have with my “bonus mom.”
    Grace as you mourn her loss in the coming weeks!

    Reply

  27. Oh Patti, what an amazing woman! Just looking at her you can tell that she had a lot of spunk. What a blessing to have had her in your life!! Thanks for sharing with SYC.
    hugs,
    Jann

    Reply

  29. What a wonderful tribute to this amazing woman! So inspiring. You were blessed to have her as your mother-in-law, and she was blessed to have you as daughter-in-law.

    It’s so cool to think of her now being reunited with loved ones who’ve preceded her in passing. I like to think of my mom getting to know her. 🙂 I look forward to meeting her myself!

    Reply

    • Won’t it be fun to reunite with those we’ve lost and meet the other saints as well? I’m ready! As soon as my work here is finished 🙂

      Reply

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