“There is nothing I can say to make you feel better.”
These words were a jolt to my heart.
I was pleading with someone dear to me about the poor choices she was making, telling her I wished she’d get help, how much she’s hurting those around her, how terribly my own heart breaks for her.
Shock came at the thought that perhaps she was telling me she had no intention of stopping her self-destructive behavior, which left me despairing and absorbed in my own pain.
Welcome to FREEDOM FRIDAY – A devotional, emotional, spiritual and sometimes hysterical series that I will be sharing on occasional Fridays, in addition to my regular Old Things New posts. Why? Because though once bound in chains Christ has set me free – FREE to live, to love, to dance, to sing, to be who God created me to be!
Today I’m taking a mental shift away from how her actions make me feel. While this loved one’s current state concerns all who love her, what she’s going through really isn’t all about me or anyone else. It is all about her. There is nothing I can say to change her. Nothing I can offer as a bribe. No threat I can make to wake her up to her need for God’s help.
Perhaps you have someone in your life who is caught up in self-destructive or addictive behaviors. Maybe it’s you! Self-destruction can take many forms, drug and alcohol abuse, cutting, pornography, promiscuity. Those are some of the “big” ones. Self destruction can also result from things more “acceptable” like perfectionism, workaholism, or people pleasing. Anything that we use as an escape from pain, past or present, can become a debilitating addiction.
So today, turning from dwelling on how I hurt, this is what I want to say to one who is broken and crushed in spirit:
I am so sorry for placing expectations on you that you feel helpless to fulfill. You are absolutely right. There is nothing you can say that will make me feel better. I can wrestle and wrangle promises from you all day long, in order to relieve my own anxious thoughts, but what good will it do when you are unable to keep even your most sincere promises to me.
The addiction is stronger. It overwhelms. It lies. It tells you that you need to feed it one more time to get over the hump. After that you will surely quit. Then along comes another situation that causes you to feel like you need to turn to the thing that’s killing you, “just one more time.”
This is what I want to say to you. I know that you feel like a failure. You feel embarrassed and ashamed. You may even feel dirty and unworthy of receiving help. The GOOD news is that THAT is a very good place to be.
Did you know that God is especially attracted to those who are broken? It’s true! He even says so His word,
The word “brokenhearted,” nishbar lev in the original Hebrew, means those who are crushed in spirit and in great need of deliverance. The. word “near”, or karov, means close enough to touch.
What this means is that you are never (no, not ever) too broken for God to reach out to you. He is never afraid of placing His hands on that which you might consider too shameful or dirty. In fact, some of God’s greatest works are performed through the people who are the most broken. This I know. When we come to a place of admitting that we are too shattered to put ourselves back together and simply say, “I trust my life and my will to You God,” we have taken the step that releases God to begin the miracle of restoration in our lives.
The point I’m trying to make to you loved one, is that even though the hurt I feel for you seems unbearable at times, this really isn’t all about me. I can surrender my feelings to my One and Only, Jesus Christ, and He promises to draw near and offer comfort to my own broken heart. It is from this place of strength that I pray that God would fill you with His hope.
I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!
IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired, InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, CelebrateYourStory, Making Your Home Sing Mondays, What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking, SmallWonder, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends
TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CedarHillFarmhouse, TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles, Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story
SavvySouthernStyle, Posed Perfection, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, ChristianBloggerLinkup, Mom’s Morning Coffee, Women with Intention, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday
ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner, I Choose Joy, Thought Provoking Thursday, SincerelyPaulas, ThankfulThursdays, ThoughtfulThursday Tune-inThursday
FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, RootedInThyme, TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Sweet Inspiration, Faith’nFriends, Missional Women Faith Filled Fridays, Dance With Jesus FreshMarketFriday