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What I Don’t Want in a Friend & a REAL Friends Podcast

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This is what I DON’T want in a friend:

I don’t want friends who wear only the latest fashions and walk boldly through life with nary a trip in their stilettos.  I don’t want friends who are up on all the latest gossip and eager to hear what I have to share so they can run off and tell others.  I don’t want friends who know how to put on the perfect face – whether that is with loads of makeup or a fake smile to hide the pain that lies beneath.  I don’t want friends who rock the latest hairstyles without one ounce of wilt – EVER – and look sexy in selfies taken when they first wake up in the morning.

Fourfriends

Now while all that is a bit of an exaggeration it’s no secret that over the years I’ve had my share of rejection and betrayed confidences that kept me leery of developing deep female friendships.  Part of the rejection I felt was real because, let’s face it, there are real cliques among women – even The Women of The Church . . .EEEK!  But part of my feeling of being left out was my own insecurity and belief that I was “not enough.” 

Those of you who know my story know that God has done a great work of healing in my life.  He has erased the shame, guilt, and condemnation that I carried with me daily and set me free to tell others who I really am instead of hiding behind my “Perfect Patti” moniker.  He has restored me to being the person He first created me to be – before the mistakes of a life (not so) well lived.  Hallelujah!

The purpose of today’s post is to share a Podcast that my friend Holly recently taped.  It is a conversation between four friends.  Two of us, Debbie and I, have been friends for years.  The other two, Holly and Mary also have a long standing friendship.  The four of us together have been developing a bond ever since we met ten months ago at the Allume writer’s conference. 

Together is a Beautiful Place to Be 001

Together is a Beautiful Place to Be

This Podcast was taped last month when we had a REAL LIFE meetup in Pigeon Forge, TN.  In it you will hear a bit about our time together, what we’ve been reading lately, and how Mary loves to get her dancin’ feet on.  You’ll also hear about other Podcasts we’ve been listening to and the experience of hearing for the first time the voice of someone you’ve admired as a writer and saying, “Awww . . . that’s just the way I thought she’d sound,” -OR- maybe, simply, “Oh MY!”

I hope you’ll take the time to turn up the volume and listen while you go about your daily chores.  It will make the time fly and possibly give you a much needed chuckle today.

Click on Holly’s picture below to listen to the Podcast! I’ve also shared links below to Mary and Debbie’s websites.

HollyHolly Barrett – Living a Redeemed Life

These friends are truly for me and for one another - Holly Barrett Click To Tweet

Mary2Mary Geisen – Passage Through Grace

I see redemption in the beautiful gift of grace - Mary Geisen Click To Tweet

SONY DSCDebbie Kitterman – Dare 2 Hear

We have to be for one another - Debbie Kitterman Click To Tweet

After you listen I hope you’ll take the time to visit and share the love.

Blessings friends, because you ARE my friends, and so very dear to my heart,

My Signature

I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!

Sunday:

TheDIYShowoff, LifeOnLakeshoreDrive, SilverPenniesSundays, SundaysAtHome, RusticAndRefined, Spiritual Sundays, GiveMeGrace

Monday:

IShouldBeMoppingTheFloor, TheDedicatedHouse, Dwellings, ProjectInspired,  InspireMeMonday, BetweenNapsOnThePorch, CelebrateYourStoryMaking Your Home Sing Mondays, The Beauty in His Grip What Joy is Mine/Monday Musings, Darling Downs Diaries, The Art of Homemaking,SmallWonder, LifeGivingLinkup, MomentsOfHope, Glimpses, SittingAmongFriends

Tuesday:

TalkOfTheTown, HomeStoriesAtoZ, AStrollThruLife, CoastalCharm, CozyLittleHouse, CedarHillFarmhouse, KatheWithAnE,TuesdaysAtOurHome, TheWinthropChronicles,  Rich Faith Rising Unite Linky, Testimony Tuesday,Cheerleaders of Faith,Tell His Story, IntentionalTuesday

Wednesday:

SavvySouthernStyle, TheBlissfulBee, Posed Perfection, A Wise Woman Builds Her Home, Woman to Woman Word Filled Wednesdays, ChristianBloggerLinkup, Whole Hearted Home, Mom’s Morning Coffee, Women with Intention, Coffee for Your Heart, MessyMarriage, ThreeWordWednesday

Thursday:

ShareYourStyle, ImpartingGrace, EmbracingChange, HaveADailyCupOfMrsOlson, MyRepurposedLife, ADelightsomeLife, KatherinesCorner, PrettyPreppyParty,  The Deliberate Mom/Shine Blog Hop, I Choose Joy,  Live Free Thursday, Thought Provoking Thursday, PartyAtMyPlace, 100HappyDays, SincerelyPaulas, ThankfulThursdays

Friday:

FrenchCountryCottage, TheCharmOfHome, RootedInThyme,  TheDedicatedHouseAnythingBlueFriday, ShabbyliciousFriday, Sweet Inspiration,  Faith’nFriends, Missional Women Faith Filled Fridays, Dance With Jesus

Saturday:

FunkyJunkInteriors, OneMoreTimeEvents,  SaturdaySparks, TheInspirationGallery, Make My Saturday Sweet

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Comments

  1. Visiting your little space is like a breath of fresh air, I love to look at your pictures and read your words. It is a mini-vacation for my day. And today, I am delighted to see the way the Lord has brought such inspired hearts together to make a difference. And the friend thing… the church friend thing, well… that is a topic that takes more than a post, or so I thought. i love how you handled it here, reminding us about the good things that friendship represents, grace, being there for one another, gentle kindness. I am so glad God continued your healing by bringing them into your life.
    Blessings,
    Dawn

    Reply

    • Dear Dawn, you have paid me the most wonderful compliment today. A breath of fresh air is exactly what God breathes on us and I long to be that to others. God has been good to give me many different types of friends and a few Jonathan and David relationships as well.
      Blessings to you sweet lady!

      Reply

  2. I love the authenticity and vulnerability we all experienced together in Pigeon Forge. I count myself as very blessed. Also, if you ever see me in stilettos, I will be picking myself up from the floor because I can’t walk in those. 🙂

    Reply

    • Hahaha! You should read my stilettos story from last Fall. It was a mini-disaster but gave me something to laugh about. I kept the offending stilettos and showcase them in my closet as a reminder of a fun time. I am blessed to call you my friend Mary Geisen!

      Reply

  3. Honest to goodness friendship – so sweet. I’ve had my share of disappointment and rejection in friendship, but through those I’ve learned that I have to be the kind of friend I want, rather than relying on other people to be the kind of friend I need. That’s not easy and yes, sometimes I get hurt, but I’m true to me and true to God and that is so much bigger than the rest. Great encouragement today, and you give all us cross country blogging friends hope for face to face meet ups!

    Reply

    • I really believe that every one of us has experienced rejection Tiffany, real and perceived. You are right in saying that we must seek to be the kind of friend to others that we want for ourselves. God’s restoration is so good and He has blessed me with some amazing friends. I do hope you will get a chance to meet up with those online buddies you have come to know as it is a fantastic experience. We bloggers are unique and most of our “normal” friends just don’t get us!

      Reply

  5. I don’t want any of those things in friends either – – maybe that is why God put us together to be friends. I so love our friendship and what God is doing with our group too. Hugs my friend and such a great post!

    Reply

    • That is definitely why God put us together Deb. We are only ALMOST perfect! Thanks for laughing with me and always being for me. I love you to pieces.

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  6. I had such fun listening to this podcast last week! It’s a beautiful example of sisters in Christ having fun together and growing each other together too.

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    • Oh Lisa, I am so happy that you listened to our friends Podcast! I really appreciate your taking the time to do that. We had a lot of fun and it is so wonderful to have sisters who you can trust your heart with. Thank you.

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  7. Patti,
    It makes my heart so happy to hear of friendships following the design God desires! Friends for one another and in it with each other. No comparison or up showing. Simple authentic friendship. I wrote about this as well this week! I loved stopping by today!
    Blessings and smiles,
    Lori

    Reply

    • I read your article about friendship earlier in the week Lori, and I pinned your Friendship Prayer! This must be the theme of the moment as I’ve seen others writing on the subject as well. Thank you for commenting on my blog post. I appreciate you!

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    • Awww…I’m so happy you listened in on our fun conversation Michele. Your name actually came up among us over the weekend and we talked about what an encourager you are. Thank you for that! I appreciate you so very much.

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  9. So sweet ladies! I’m so thankful the Lord creates strong friendships and uses them so powerfully to build believers up and reach out to others! This has me even MORE excited to go spend the weekend with my best friend!! Thanks for the encouragement!

    Reply

    • We saw a sign in one of the restaurants we went to that had that saying on it and one of the girls said that should be our saying. It just so happens that this chalkboard with the same saying hangs over our kitchen sink. I hung it there two years ago when hubby and I moved clear across the country to South Carolina. It has meaning because it is just the two of here and no matter where we go together IS a beautiful place to be. Thank you for coming by and leaving a sweet comment Mari-Anna.

      Reply

  11. Hey Patti,

    It looks like you and I are writing on some of the same important subjects. Must be that brilliant minds thinking alike thing!

    Love this post, and look forward to hearing the podcast soon.

    Found your post on Sitting Among Friends.

    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanei

    Reply

    • Great, GREAT minds! LOL! Isn’t it funny how God gets a theme going among His women at times? It is a much needed discussion and I really love the friendship series you have going on. Blessings to you Melanie!

      Reply

  12. I love genuine friends! Being an introvert it is hard to have friends who understand what I go through with being around with other people. I’m thankful for the one life long friend the Lord has blessed me with. – She gets me and loves me anyway. 🙂 Thank you for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.

    Reply

    • Yes Lori, genuine friends are precious. I used to be terribly introverted (they called me “Bashtiful Patti” when I was a child) but over the years of working on healing what was broken on the inside, the real me has come out. Yikes! I feel like I am finally the me God created me to be. When I tell people now that I’m shy they won’t even believe me! However . . . on all the tests I still score on the borderline between introverted and extroverted and I find that I recharge best from time alone or with just my hubby and the dogs. I’m glad you have your life long friend. I have one of those too and she is such a blessing. Thank you for being a friend to me and taking the time to comment on my blog 🙂

      Reply

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