I knew it would come to this. No one had to tell me that I would feel this way. I anticipated it long before our move . . . the missing of and longing for the familiar.
I also knew that when we first got here, to beautiful South Carolina, this new home far away from home, I would be excited to be here. I still am.
I expected that I would find joy in setting up our new home and figuring out what piece of furniture would go here . . . or what piece of artwork would go there. I still do.
I also anticipated that when Mr. OTN started working his new job . . . a very demanding job . . . a twelve PLUS hours per day job . . .
I would feel a little lonely . . .
And every once in awhile it sneaks up on me, that overwhelming feeling of sorrow over all that I’ve left behind.
FREEDOM FRIDAY. That is the name of a new devotional, emotional, spiritual and maybe sometimes even hysterical series that I’ll be adding to my blog. It may not be every Friday and it may not be for everyone who follows Old Things New. I’ll still be posting “how to’s” as I create beauty out of old things and plug away at decorating our new home. The truth is that Old Things New has never been just about finding old things and making them pretty. At the core of my desire to create beauty out of brokenness is my own story of a life made new. That is the why of Freedom Friday.
So back to this roller coaster of emotions I’ve been experiencing, having recently moved across the country from Washington State, where I’ve lived my entire life (a LONG time)!
In the month we’ve been here it has been fun shopping, exploring, decorating and setting up my new home. My head is swimming with ideas . . . so many that I’m good for posts for a long time to come.
What has been hard is when I find myself alone for hours on end. I miss my friends. Oh yes, I still talk to some of them on the phone, or text or Facebook message with them and that is good. It is the knowing that I won’t see them at church on Saturday night or that we don’t have a shopping date on the calendar to look forward to . . . where we will laugh, and share the hard things, and laugh, and go to pretty stores, and laugh, and eat chocolate and then laugh a little more before going back to our “real” lives (can you tell that I love to laugh? LOVE!). It is the knowing that a coffee date is no longer just a phone call away.
I also miss the comfort of familiar surroundings. MY grocery store, the one I knew backwards and forwards, my favorite places to have coffee, the antique stores and junk stores that I frequented, Mount Rainier peeking through the clouds just to remind me that it was really there, the shy Blue Heron who would make an occasional appearance on my dock and remind me that I too could soar, my church . . . OH how I miss my church.
Am I making you sad? I don’t mean to. My hope for this post is that it will speak to one or two others who sometimes feel alone and lonely.
We’ve made this move for a reason. We have no doubt about that. We know that God’s purposes are higher than just a change of job and scenery. After directing Freedom Session for four years back in Olympia we are hopeful that God will bring us to a place where we can do that again . . . if that is His plan for us. Until then, we feel like we are supposed to be having a time of rest and refreshing. Mr. OTN likens our rest to being in a cocoon . . . safe, nourished, and comfortable. So we’ve been visiting churches . . . trying to find a “home” but it is really hard to feel at home where no one knows you. Can you imagine going home for Thanksgiving and walking into a dining room filled with strangers? Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been reflecting on the importance of knowing and being known.
In my “aloneness” on Sunday mornings as I sit in yet another new church (and yes, you CAN feel alone even in the midst of hundreds . . . even thousands . . . of other church goers) I’ve found myself drifting back into some of my old ways of thinking, remembering old lies that said things like, “You’re not enough. You’re flawed. You have a past. You aren’t perfect. You are not one of the ‘beautiful’ Christians.” Though I was once held in bondage by these lies I quickly recognize that I am being attacked once again in the place where I am most vulnerable. But there ARE an awful lot of beautiful Christians in SC!
In Freedom Session we teach a section on how to hear God speak personally to you through the reading of His Word, the Bible. We teach people to read a passage, mark the areas that stand out to them and then ask God what He wants to say (and yes, it IS okay to ask God to speak to you!). In my daily quiet time, as I’ve been reflecting and reading the Bible, it feels like God has been telling me that He wants me to draw closer to him and depend upon him more than I ever have before. He wants me to know and be known by Him. WOW!
Here is a portion of Scripture that stood out to me this week and how God spoke to me personally through it. NOTE: This is neither a study of nor commentary on Psalm 23. It is simply how it applied to me and my life.
Psalm 23:1-5
(The Voice version)
besides streams of refreshing water.
He soothes my fears;
steering me off worn, hard paths to roads where truth and righteousness echo His name.
I am not overcome by fear.
Because You are with me in those dark moments,
near with Your protection and guidance,
provisions in the midst of attack from my enemies;
You care for all my needs. anointing my head with soothing, fragrant oil,
where I go, always, everywhere.
I will always be with the Eternal One,
I’ve been known to link up to the following great parties!!!
VMG206, TuesdaysAtOurHome,
Beautifully written Patti, I feel for your loneliness and pray that you will find new friends and new beginnings that fill your heart. Behold, He is doing a new thing. He makes Old Things New 🙂 Hugs, and maybe , just maybe we will have an opportunity to visit you guys 🙂
Being in a new place can be very lonely, I’ve been in mine for 13 years now and am still waiting for a phone call to have coffee. I wish only the best for you and your family. You have lots of faith. I’m glad after a very long absence I read your blog today. Blessings!
Hi Patti, When we left our home state of Ca., after living 57 yrs there, we moved to a small town in Colorado I experience much of what you are describing. The first winter was fun, but by spring and summer I was missing my friends back home-especially my Christian sisters. When you are retired or your hubby working such long hours, as yours is, it is hard to make friends. For me, many relationships, even in churches had been established for decades. It took me several years to finally feel like I made a close circle of friends; however, friends come and go, but I’ve made some that I hope will be there forever. Bible studies really helped me connect. God will fill your days with His purpose for He sees your heart.
Hugs,
Noreen
Dear, sweet, kindred soul,
I am so thankful I stumbled across your blog today as this is exactly what I needed to hear. I very much understand the loneliness and variety of emotions you are experiencing. I recently married my beloved and then moved to a new city (for both of us) for my darling’s job. It has been so much fun settling into a new city, decorating our home, and exploring. But there have been days of deep loneliness when I feel so alone, so forgotten, and so aching for friendship.
But God has been very faithful and I look forward to taking your advice and seeking Him more especially through His word. I know that would be very good for me.
I look forward to coming back!
God bless you richly as you seek Him more and more during this season! This is the day He has made and I know it is worthy of rejoicing in it!
Frannie
Thank you for being transparent and open. I love the prayer about walking “into” the purpose/plan He has for you. The prepositions speak of relationship. I think we all come to places like this in our walk with Him. I believe the LORD takes us outside of our comfort zone so we have to renew and update our relationship with Him. Keep us informed so we can hear of the great and glorious things He performs in and through you.
He will never leave us or forsake us for He is faithful.
We recently moved to OR after 17 years in Western WA (it was a corporate relocation). I understand your loneliness all too well – I told my husband that if we didn’t have a dog, there would be days that I didn’t utter a word (if he’s out of town.) It was so much easier to move the first time (cross-country) as the kids were in school and there were loads of opportunities to meet new friends for all of us. I’ve met some people here, and keep in touch with friends in WA, but it’s not the same. I keep telling myself it takes time, but it sure is hard…..
I hear you.
Hopefully, soon you will be making some friends. Moving is not easy. Been here for about 5 yars and still feel lonely on some days. His Word helps me but there are days I jsut miss our last home. Blessings, Linda
Patti, moving to an entire new place is difficult at first. I’m sure that you will find friends and feel right at home before long. I know that Winter is little bit more difficult because people don’t get out as much. When we moved into our new home we just moved up the road just 5 min. away. I found that being a bit older it was harder to make close friends in my neighborhood and church. I am surrounded by younger families. Very nice, but not ones that I would go gallivanting with. Although one has actually suggested we do dinners together from time to time. I have lots of friends from my old neighborhood and they are close enough that we still do lots together. I’m sure that being away from your friends is difficult. God does have a purpose and you are so wise to recognize this. Get out there, be friendly and you’ll find someone who is needing a friend too! Thanks for sharing with SYC.
hugs,
Jann
I just noticed -that this post was from 2014 close to a year ago…I will watch for some of your more recent writings to see how things are going this year in September 2015-Looking Forward!
I ran across this post just now—in the midst of the pandemic 6 years after your original post. In so many ways it still applies to sheltering in place and physical distancing. It speaks to my soul today. Thank you.
I need to go back and re-read this myself Wren. Covid has really turned our world upside down and so many of us (me included) are experiencing loneliness. I’m thankful that in spite of it all God’s truth remains.
Patti